Hormonally Possessed

When does loneliness really hit ? Is it just before going to sleep, or while travelling by train or while suddenly watching something which you crave for and yet can't get. I don't know why it has been like this but loneliness feels like a companion that's resting on my shoulder as I try to cope up with the day. I might be functioning at high productivity but still there's some part of me that I realise isn't getting satisfaction from the grill. I need to find a new coping mechanism. Somehow what has worked for so many months isn't working out at the moment. I don't know maybe I am not well thays why, or maybe it's just something I need to detox from. I was just crying out of the blue, I even insisted my best friend to let's open a dating app. I was legit feeling the absence of something I craved and at the same time didn't want. 
This is all I felt on Saturday. No wonder I got my period. It all makes sense. Hormonally possessed I was. It started getting better. 

Today is Tuesday, today was my rest day. Oh my god 12 hrs of sleep, watched a good movie , ate good, spoke to a very dear friend for an hour and realised it doesn't get better, you just learn to go on, learnt a new word- ballast and even studied a bit. Today felt like the long day I needed in my life. I think from tomorrow I would be functioning a lot better. I just heard a quote today " Many of the things I worried about not happened anyway" and it in itself is so reassuring. Suddenly today I felt a breadth of hope, I hope the fuel runs the engine long enough💅🏻

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