Life lately

This is kind of a personal diary entry of the last few weeks. So I would be starting with the fact that yes these last few weeks have been the best time of this year. Last year this same time I was so heartbroken, I was so not in the right mind, right mood but it's true everything passes, sooner or later everything does. And it did. Probably the best part of 2024 happened and we all know good things involve people. I had one of the nicest Durga Pooja after such a long time. Nobody had got sick, no dengue, no guy problems, complete peace of mind. I dressed up nicely, ate good food, had one of the best times teasing my brother and getting teased by him. I had one of the nicest conversations with my friend who is not my age but we trauma bonded and it just made me realise why I am this kind of person a little more intensely. I was even talking to a guy for the past few weeks and wow I have felt inspired and motivated after such a long time. I even fixed my sleep schedule and study schedule. So this was in general that times were going good for me. 

Now comes the philosophical part. I watched a series called as Reply 1988. It ain't over yet. It was one of my best decisions. I never had a proper childhood with the same friends, growing up in the same neighborhood. Everything always changed before I could settle in and get comfortable. But yes I lived it through the characters. This show was based on times when smartphone didn't exist. Love was equally tough and unsure then. But the thing I realised most was that technology didn't easen it at all. It made it tougher. We have unlimited calls option and no one to talk to. We have whatsapp, Instagram, facebook and still we aren't able to communicate. It's leading to more misunderstandings. Dating apps are available but no one gets flowers anymore. No love letters. Nothing. Love is confusing. It needs a lot of hope, patience, reassurance and despite so many modes to easen it, it has become more difficult. Another day a friend asked me whether I was " puro puri single or in a situationship" and it made me think how much lack of clarity is needed now. Why not just have old school relationships. Why not just be the kind that dates to get married. Today long distance doesn't work but rather today it should. Why is the convenience getting deutilised? Wheres the self control in people ? Wheres that being faithful to their partner feeling gone ? Sometimes I think human relationships have dropped down to such levels that it gets tougher for the people who actually want to date with a purpose. It doesn't have to always end in marriage but for the time it exists let their be faith that it's on the cards, If nothing bad happens then it will lead to it. But today the motives are different. Why such a transition ? Fighting for love is okay but now it's competing for it. What world are we living in ? Sometimes I just want to go to a mountain and just disappear completely.

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