Breathing Machine

You know how every person has a different combative pathway to pain - some like to talk to people, some go silent, some take it out on their loved ones while some just write it down and believe eventually it will go away. I have felt this weird kind of pain and it comes in bouts, every month with the hormones shooting and the body bleeding I feel it and I even know how to combat it. The only person who I might have bothered with this kind of pain is maybe my mother. But that's the physical part of the pain. What about what goes on the internal side, the pain that aches when you see someone on the road holding hands, someone on the phone talking to them, someone on the train having someone to lean their head on. Then you watch Pakistani dramas and it intensifies the hollow feeling that you have felt all along the day but at the same time assuring and reassuring you that your time will come. I don't know but with the kind of people I see around how to keep my faith on the realism of the grave situation. Everyone everywhere all the time looking for such temporary associations, not wanting conflict, not wanting to deal with the heavy and hard parts just to be there for the good times. How does it work even ? How can someone really trust someone without having seeing them at their lowest ? I might be feeling all this today and tomorrow I would again just console myself to work like a machine, talk and have fun with my friends but then again next month  in between I will feel this again and I will again maybe write and you will again maybe read and you might even say relatable and I will react and we will keep on living our sad little relatable lives. I started thinking about how I will write about modern day relationships and the old school concept but I got distracted in my own pain. My last blog was also kind of similar only. Okay bye for now. Saturday complete rest day. Sunday again the machine starts. I hope it breaks down a little later the next time.