The day of smiling

Last year when I remember this time, I was at my thakuma's paternal home with his brother and family for a week of vacation. That was the time I remember feeling the most happiest ( it's grammatically incorrect, I know that but you know). I am not over exaggerating or over simplying it but how much I laughed and ate and played and had fun last year during that time reminds me how truly happy I was at that time and how after coming back I hadn't felt that in a long time. Probably time turns during the same time. I am having my periods right now and blame it on my physiology or God but I wasn't supposed to have them for a week, and for all those who knows how tough and difficult it gets during these times you exactly would understand why I am feeling so happy despite it during this time. Usually I plan myself some recreation to bear with the pain but this time I couldn't decide, so just impromptu I decided to watch an old Bengali movies named Deya Neya and how wonderful dp whatsapp statuses can be, I discovered such a gem from them. Then obviously I was overwhelmed by Uttam Kumar's charm and decided to watch his other movies especially the ones with Suchitra Sen. I watched Indrani, Sagarika, Saptapadi( again) , Saare chuattor, ora thake opare and I just paused Chawa pawa just to write how  I have felt over the three days. I have never vibed with my grandparents this way nor I have ever felt more related to Bengali cinema. I have been smiling all day, listening to Ami chey chey dekhi shara din and surjo dobar pala ashey jodi ashuk during the train journey even in fmt class, I and anushka were listening to it while our heads down to focus on sleep. I know this is nothing but an obsession and I will probably get over it soon but I won't get over this feeling, the joy that these movies brought me. Now that I think this is very similar to how I felt the first time I watched Hugh grant in Notting Hill. In class 12th I sat over a weekend and watched Two weeks notice, Four weddings and a Funeral,  love actually, music and lyrics. I haven't forgotten that feeling, oh my god now I have crush on both High Grant and Uttam Kumar but the best thing about the Bengali movie was that how subtle and how romantic they were without any of the vulgar scenes which today's cinema offers. The feeling of eye contact, side eyes or smiling shyly or sheepishly and that look of seeing someone for the first time and feeling those butterflies. Oh god how desperately I want something like that in my life but in today's generation is it possible ? Would any person really be willing to date just to get married and have children and have a family and live in love? I think it still exists although I know how reduced those numbers are. But let it be, for now I am happy that I am smiling without reason and that I have successfully moved on from something that has been pulling me back for a long time. Morning shows the day and finally the sun that I had been waiting for has risen. Here's to new crushes ( real or fictional🤧🤧) 

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