Chandler Bing

I haven't written in a while. I was too happy and consumed and then sad and consumed to write but today I need to otherwise I would suffocate myself. The story starts like this. My grandmother died when I was in 10th standard during my preboards. She had been the source to all my imagination so far. Every night she would tell me a bed time story, she would play Ludo and carrom with me  and during her last phase I lived in the memories of that. Till date, she is my favourite person. Now 11th started. I needed to have something so as to keep myself happy. We had shifted after 10th so everything was new and it's difficult when it's new, so then I started watching Friends ( it was a recommendation from my masi who herself didn't watch it). We just clicked. Friends made my 11th bearable. It made my 12th bearable. Now thing is I didn't have Netflix of my own. I borrowed it from a senior in my school who was too good to give it to me. He became my friend in the exam hall where I helped him with economics questions. I was in 9th and he was in 11th. Friends became the thing to watch whenever I ate, whenever I was overwhelmed with happiness or sadness. It became the tool of survival. The people who know me, know that I am a nostalgic person. I live in the present yet feel about how I would remember it in the future. I dwell a lot with the past. I even had thought of watching Friends with my kids on the TV when they are in their early teens. I had planned on having the Friends wallpaper when I purchase my house. I would still do all of it but today I feel how much impact Chandler had in this. I crave for a Monica Chandler like relationship. I crave for a friend like Chandler and the fact that I would still see him everytime on Friends but still this loss, it feels the same like it felt when my grandmother died. I am not good at handling deaths. I suck at it. Today feels a lot like Sirius Black's death. Friends helped me connect to Hollywood, my cousins, my batchmates. It became the topic of "Us bro Us" discussions. Friends is my comfort place. I go to it in times when I can't call up my favourite people. I have watched it when I ate alone in the restaurant. I have watched it in airports and local trains. I have watched it through reels over and over again.  Matthew Perry will live, he won't turn into oblivion. The end of an era has begun and I just can't believe it started with him. To all those who read it, it's kind of a diary note. Feel with me if you can. Nothing more. 

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