Too much of excitement

Excitement comes from a place of habit, a place of overmet expectations, a place of overfulfilled aspirations. You might be wondering why suddenly this, what's the excitement to be associated with upcoming semester exams, but my friend it's the excitement for the pujo. How glad I am not to mention Durga Puja but only pujo and your energy resonating with the dhaak as I write about this. Living outside Bengal over the school years and all, I had felt my bengali friends become bengali over the five days of the year. That was a little upsetting because I felt being bengali almost everyday. The level of excitement I had before pujo about eating, dressing up, performing despite the fact that we had half yearly exams that time is inexplicable. I was always the one to be more enthusiastic than anyone. Writing in my diary which outfit to wear on which day, what all to eat over the five days and everytime asking my mom to let me compensate for ashtami by eating vegetarian food after pujo and always being denied, all these memories keep flooding back. But this year, I don't have that same excitement like I always did. Even during my 11-12 I witnessed myself not having that same feeling about pujo. Maybe not habituating to something does reduce the charm. Now when I see my college friends, who are almost all bengali posting countdowns for pujo or shopping just to wear that dress on ashtami, I realise that maybe I am not that much bengali I thought I was. Maybe I am that friend now who is a little less excited. This year being the first when I decided to have a trip during pujo rather than going to pandal. Maybe this change comes in for something good. Change is the only constant. Maybe this downfall of excitement brings in something else to excited about. I hope I adjust to this shift in culture I was raised into. 

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